Life as a military wife has its ups and downs.
And I don’t have to tell you that there are lots of elements to my life – where we live, where the kids go to school, how we spend our summer break, my husband’s work schedule, when he travels for work – that I simply am not in control of.
It’s really a long list, if you stop to think about it.
Go ahead and make your own list, if you want, of all the things that are decided for you, as a military spouse.
Popular opinion tells us this can be difficult at times.
Well meaning friends express sympathy for this “hard life” that we’re forced to live.
I mean, we even get discounts at major stores and restaurants to make up for the sacrifices we make along the way.
I’m not mad at the discounts at all, but I think about all of this in a completely different way.
If my husband is gone for a 2 week tdy trip right in the middle of our spring break, there are lots of different ways I can think and feel about it.
Perhaps I think that its not fair – to me or the kids – that Dad is gone and can’t come have fun with us.
Maybe I start thinking about how hard it is for me, to have to take the kids to the beach or the water park or the zoo all by myself.
That it’s going to be so difficult for me to handle the kids 1 week break from school without any help from him.
The problem with this thought, that it’s going to be so difficult for me to handle the kids for their week long break from school is that it makes me feel discouraged.
And when I feel discouraged, I do things like half heartedly plan activities for us to do, I find myself lacking patience or even the ability to have fun on the outings we do go do.
I have basically put myself in victim mode, where I’m giving the power over my emotions away to the people that planned the tdy in the first place. Because I’m allowing my thoughts about the tdy ruin our spring break fun.
There’s another option out there and I’ll tell you what it is.
You can choose to think and feel any way you want to about your husband’s tdy or his work schedule or his deployment or your upcoming pcs.
Because our feelings come straight from our thoughts. So, if you want to feel good, choose a thought that makes you feel good, or loving, or at peace or confident or whatever. There’s an almost unlimited amount of feelings available to you and the way you access them is by directing your thoughts.
If I choose to think that it’s kind of good that my husband won’t be home for the kids’ spring break because then I can have lots of bonding time with the kids, I’m going to feel at peace.
And when I feel peaceful, then I show up as my best self. I don’t half heartedly plan activities, I have plenty of patience and then we all have a great time.
Those results came directly from my thoughts. Simply because I chose a thought that was believable to me and one that created the feeling of peace in my body.
We all have this same power, to direct our mind to thinking useful thoughts.
Thoughts that help us show up as our best selves.
And when given the option, why would we ever choose to feel bad?