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Hey, I'm Becca! I help military wives confidently survive military life.

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working on my legendary marriage

August 14, 2018

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Y’all, I’ve got a legendary marriage.

Yep, that’s right, we got something awesome going on over here at our house.

It’s new.

Not the marriage, but the legendary part.

We’ve actually been married just one month shy of 12 years.  And I would probably categorize the beginning years of our marriage as pretty rocky.

Not horrible but because we are both strong minded people, we had a lot to learn about creating a life and home together.

This learning phase included a fair amount of fighting, but it wasn’t anything we couldn’t handle.

We got there.

Just a few years in, I would say we landed in the “normal” phase of our marriage.

This normal phase of our marriage is what I see often when I look around.

We were certainly happily married, we still fought some, but not a crazy amount.  We were happy, unless we weren’t.  But the unhappy parts didn’t last long.  It was a pretty good place to be.

Or at least I thought so, until I found out we could have more.

And, the best part is that this whole next level situation only depended on me changing one single thing.

It didn’t require me to drag my amazing and sexy husband to marriage counseling or long drawn out “talks” at night when both he and I would rather be sleeping or running or watching tv or anything that didn’t include talking about our feelings or our needs or expectations.

In fact, when I decided I wanted to make our marriage better, I didn’t even tell my husband anything about it.

I just did it.

I know you want to know what I did.  And I’ll tell you but I have to warn you that it’s not going to sound earth shattering.

Here goes.

I decided my only job in this marriage is to love my husband for who he is.  To stop expecting him to meet my needs.

It’s my job to meet my own needs.  It’s also my job to love my husband – that’s why he’s there.  For me to love.

This is the best news!  I no longer tie up my own emotions and feelings with him and how he’s feeling.  I no longer have lists of unmet expectations with his name on it.  I no longer have to manage my own stress and future disappointment about how he acts and who he is because my only job is to love him.

This has been so freeing.

Not to mention, I might add, when I decide my only job is to love him, then guess what??  I get to be filled full of love for this human that I chose to spend my life with.

I feel the love that I have for him.

I’m sure he feels it too and it must feel good to him, but I can’t stress enough that I really am winning here in the feel good department.

He gets to be who he is and I get to love him.

It’s stupidly simple but has been life changing for me.

Try it out for yourself and tell me what you think.  I can’t recommend it more highly than I am – find your own legendary marriage relationship!

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Military Life

Identity

Marriage

Relationships

Join She Thrives Coaching Club

work with me

STOP Saying These Phrases if Your Want to Grow Your Business

Watching Your Competition Won't Help You Grow

My Morning Routine for a Successful Workday

10 Business Tools to Transform your Productivity

blog posts

most recent

tune into the show!

Hey, I'm Becca! I help military wives confidently survive military life.

blog categories